guess u know what happens..
i saw her.. on monday...
haiz... its like killing me man.
1st... i got to company. i greeted everyone good morning along the corridor.
it was crowded.. everyone along the way smile back or say morning back.. then i keep... Morning morning morning.. till 1 person just look down.
for an instance i tot it looks familiar, till like the next good morning then i realise.
OMFG its her.. i look back.. and saw tt all so familar back walking hastily away..
haiz.. i dont deny i join this company to see her again.
but when i did.. i didnt know it will turn out to be this way... i wanted to see her.. i wanted to talk to her.
i wanted to know if everything is still the same.
After we broke up, she said she couldnt keep in touch. she couldnt see me. cos the sight of me.. will make her nv ever leave me. but. why could she now just walked away like tt.
i didnt see her for the rest of the days alr. not at lunch not at tea break.
i texted her. saying if she wans to avoid me, i will leave the canteen... couldnt eat the whole day.
In a good way. i was little bit overweight my bmi by 0.6. so.. on monday.. 1kg was lost. thanks to her?
during afternoon class.. we went to a simulated place for some training matters. and i saw her.. walking alone to the toilet. she give the dunno how, straight face. didnt expect to see me there face.
i was staring at her.
i waited and did so much for this. how could i not rite..
i waited at the same place, and she walk right past me when she walk back.. with tt same face... i couldnt just walk up to talk to her as my trainer is talking... and she went to sit somewhere in her training place. i could see her here and there.
Her long hair is back! omg, how happy am i.. how i miss it. but the thought of my fingers not having the chance to run thru those hair, i wont get them on my shoulder and haf the smell of them...
it sucks...
I went back to class.. thinking i must talk to her..
i went to the corridor downstairs at bout 5.15 and waited till 5.40... i didnt see her..perhaps its no fate.. i cant keep my classmates waiting too...
its a disastrous day..
i felt like all i've done is all pointless. so what if i see her, so what i did everything..
We are strangers now...
i wonder if she got a new guy now..
she said she will nv haf a new guy unless i haf a new girl. and i did he same promise..
i even go a step further to promise i'll marry no one but her.. before she broke hers.. i wouldnt.
(pls dont tell me she got a new guy even if anyone of u knows bout it, despite i said this i really dun wanna know).
I went home.. and went to bed.. the whole day feeling the chest pain and irregular heart beat. i guess why pple keep saying its the heart tt love. guess it recognises her.. its like even ur mind is saying... forget it.. The heart doesnt. its not like emotional heartache or what.
its just like sharp pain like going thru heart attack or narrowing. and the irregular heartbeat.. i cant even control it. i got to take deep breath.
perhaps its despression? perhaps its no food? perhaps its no food + 2,3 cups of coffee? perhaps its just stress?
i dunno, medical stuff...
Today.. i went to class.. met a trainer who is a friend, who teaches a class next to hers.
he said how come see me listless yday.. and how is me and her.. cos.. he knows her too. Trained her before.
i told her we broke up since nov. Actually dont really haf an exact date.
But. the last time we behave like a couple, tts probably last year nov?
Cos i rem, she nv even wish me on my bday....
i told him i saw her yday.
He was like, 'no wonder..'He was asking me what happen and i told her some summary and im in here just to get her back.
i asked her like what class she attending and all.
HE told me it was a self directed course.
Means you got to volunteer and sign up.
Its a one day thing which explains why she not here today.
It was like a life saving NEWS!
she signed up for it? but she knew i was going to be here.
If she doesnt miss me or really wanna avoid me at all costs. Im sure she would cancel it? or not sign up for it?
she knew i was coming here like since MAY!
ok.. im always the happy-go-lucky one. telling pple to look on the bright side of stuff.
Im like the perfect white lie teller too! always..... saying lots to her.
i tink i can convince myself. tt must be the truth..
I think she misses me and really wanna take a look at me. or she just wanna dress nicely!~ come here let me see her and nv ever forget her. remember my promises and not be attracted by any nice girls around in the company?
hm...Either way, i think.. im still as impt to her, as she is to me..
She once told me, if im feeling it? she must be feeling it too.
ITs our time tgt. we spent it tgt. how can we feel differently? Right?
She even tell me before, she wont be with anyone.
If she wans a kid, she will get me to haf one with her. But doesnt mean she wants me.
She'll just haf a "mini me" to accompany her for the rest of her life.
Some of my friend say tts sick. Ha! but... i think i can understand..
I dunno what i sld do now, but i've decided.
I'll text her everyday, telling her what i did. despite there will always be no reply,
and just live my life normally.
i actually... am quite use to being single alr.
I knew im gonna miss out a lot of fantastic girls if im going to stick to my promise and carry on being emo and stuff... but.. There are some promises and pple, that you can nv put an end to...
Love you.. the one person who turn up in my life.
Became my world
and is everthing i live for.
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